Dear Mr Achmed McGinty,
Thank you for your letter applying to be National Terrorist, claiming that you are able to terrorise all the people of Great Britain into submission.
Each of the actions you propose may frighten a few tourists; however, we are rather more demanding.
You say you intend to deprive us of our lives with your bombs; to make us so afraid that we won't travel, won't leave the house to get into our cars or go shopping; that we will keep our heads bowed so as not to offend you by look or action; even be afraid, in our own homes, to switch on a light or a heater.
I have to tell you, Mr Achemed McGinty that, whilst yours may be a short term solution, it is unsustainable since you will, eventually, run out of victims.
Anyway, the position of National Terrorist is already filled - by the government. It does all the things you want to do, except it doesn't bomb its victims out of existence..
Sincerely,
The People Of Great Britain
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